AEMCH (pronounced "EMSH"- almost rhymes with "mensh") is a made-up word that stands for “An Episcopal Ministry to Convalescent Hospitals.” It is a thing of beauty and I am delighted to be their new coordinating chaplain.
AEMCH was started at my old parish, All Souls Episcopal, 27 years ago by the tireless and faithful Rev. Arlinda Cosby and the then rector, Rev. Bill Clancy. The idea was simply to support and encourage parishes to have thriving ministries to their local convalescent hospitals, including holding services there and bringing the Eucharist to individuals. Arlinda began to preach to congregations and to hold training forums for this ministry.
My first impression of AEMCH was when Arlinda came on her yearly visit to preach at All Souls and urge us on to the Jesus-like task of caring for and visiting those elders in the convalescent hospitals who might not otherwise get a visitor at all. Spurred on by her message I started doing this wonderful work and just couldn’t stop.
My favorite place to go was Kayakameena Nursing Home not far from my home in Berkeley. It is not the most upscale of these establishments, but All Souls had a great ministry going (still does!) and it was always fun. The venerable Rev. Bill Fay is always the presider at the once-a-month Sunday afternoon services, preaching the good word and leading the hymns. I began to fill in for him when he went on vacation, and I always marveled at the amount of joy we apparently brought for so little effort.
Marsha Thomas-Cooke, a wonderful jazz vocalist began to come with us to Kaykameena and she always delighted us with her voice and also kept us on key for the hymns.
For a very long time I would visit a woman who used to go to All Souls Church, Helen Stanley. Her moods would run the gamut from cheery to desolate. “I’m going today, Este,” she would tell me, looking worn and exhausted. “This is the day I will see Jesus!”
Then I would see her the next week and she would be calm and cheerful. When I would ask her what I could do for her, or if I could bring her anything, she invariably would say, “Just stay a while and hold my hand.” Helen must have had a strong spiritual effect on her two sons, because one was a rabbi and one was a Catholic priest. For the record, it was the rabbi who kept in touch with her and visited her far more. I was there one time when he was visiting Helen with his wife, and I never saw Helen happier.
When Helen died several years ago I went to her funeral and discovered a different side to Helen than I had ever known. There was a time when she left her two young sons to go to California for some reason I didn’t understand. Maybe they both turned to God for consolation, or maybe her leaving gave them room to seek such different paths. But by time I met her they were reconciled and she was all sweetness, softness and gratitude.
There is something about a person (not always but often) when they reach an advanced age that does seem grace-filled. Sometimes I think that when you are born you have just left the presence of God and when you die you return, so that as a middle aged person you are about as far from God as you are going to get age-wise. So it behooves us to be with children and elders to pick up a little grace by association.
A few weeks ago I went to Kayakameena again and Bill Fay celebrated and preached. The All Souls contingent was 7 strong joined by two Franciscan brothers and myself with my husband and 14 year old daughter. There were 25 residents in attendance at the service and they sang with amazing gusto.
In my most recent visit to another convalescent home, The Redwoods, in Mill Valley, I met with a woman who is 109 years old. She was not ambulatory, but she was sharp and she was funny. In fact in may be her sense of humor that has kept her going for so long. She reminded me (not for the first time) of her age and I said, “Camille- you are doing great!”
“What do you mean I’m doin’ great?” She yelled. “I’m lyin’ here like a wart on a pickle!” We shared the Eucharist and she reflected that she often thought about God when she woke up at night.
“Being spiritual comes in real handy when you’re an old bag like me!” she said.
Ask me about AEMCH when you see me, or better yet, do yourself a favor and come visit with us for the most painless and rewarding Jesus-in-the-world work you’re ever likely to do!
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I am so glad you have a new job, and not an easy one. This is a new wrinkle (lots of wrinkles) for you, being in charge of visits to the elderly and ministring to them.
I am familiar with AEMCH, as years ago I took a training in the East Bay. I visit the elderly here in Marin, most recently these past six years from Church of Our Saviour, Mill Valley, CA USA at The Redwoods. I found the training very good as offered by AEMCH.
I also worked with ECHMM, a Marin County Ecumenical group that visits elderly, and I was on their board for about six or seven years. They have excellent training materials, including audio tapes and video tapes. Also a book (kind of a book) which you will be interested to read, I would think and suggest.
In fact, I started visiting the elderly about 15 years ago when I was a volunteer with Love is the Answer, another Marin organization that is still going strong. I found that rewarding, as well.
I am so glad you are now the main woman at the East Bay Episcopal Group, and I think it may be the largest of its kind in San Francisco's Bay Area. Best wishes for your happiness, and for the measure of goodness you and the others will bring to the elderly.
When I visit in my capacity as a volunteer and lay minister at the Redwoods in Mill Valley, I think I am helping a great deal and bringing a goodness into people's lives.
I visit the elderly each week in the Health Care Unit and Personal Care unit of the retirement home, and sometimes read the Psalms, when they are interested. Here is a recent poem written about reading Psalm 119. Quotations from the Psalm are from, "The Book of Common Prayer."
Conversation with Aged
by Peter Menkin
I recite a long Psalm,
119,
beginning as a confession
but lending my thoughts
and opening my heart.
Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes,
And I shall keep it to the end
Give me understanding, and I shall keep your law;
I shall keep it with all my heart.
Be gentle to memory: of failure
to seek God, and desire good
creates a long list of weakness
and mindless concerns that ignore
God for so many years.
Let your loving-kindness come to me, O Lord,
And your salvation, according to your promise.
Old ones I talk with as I read, speak
of their youth, and I think
"Is this what is on their minds?"
So I soothe and open my heart
to let in healing to younger times
in my life. Even to childhood.
Happy are they whose way is blameless,
Who walk in the law of the Lord!
Happy are they who observe his decrees
And seek him with all their hearts!
I say words for them, these old people, and
for others:
in thought before words,
in mind before thought,
present in the heart, and I listen,
always desiring to hear.
This talk with old people
leads me to gentleness with myself.
This is their message.
They say to me, "I am living
so long. I hardly think about it."
I continue my reading
Psalm 119.
I am a stranger here on earth;
Do not hide your commandments from me.
Let my cry come before you, O Lord,
Give me understanding, according to your word.
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